Harp Of Struggle
by Team Dragon Star
Summary: Kotomi Ichinose had always been a lonely being, even from birth, yet with the recent death of her parents and the eternal silence that follows, will she ever be able to play the melody of life once again?


_**A/N: This chapter was brought to you by Mikey H and FantasmaOracular**_

R&R

-I-

One can grow accustomed to being alone. It's not the ideal life to most, but for the few who spend their entire time like this, day in and day out, it becomes necessary to cope. Here in this house purged of love and fond memories not so long ago, one will never feel the touch of happiness. No, not here not anywhere, can there be a home for a soul out of tune with the song of society. A potentially happy childhood had been replaced by textbooks strewn across wooden floor, all opened and unread, in various languages and levels of mathematical, literary, and scientific difficulty. This was her purpose now; the only salvation from the guilt of what she had done to her mother and father's life's work. Her father's eloquent words had still rung clearly through her mind seemingly each passing minute. It haunted her how cruel she had been to her mother and father before the accident; how she had claimed that she had despised them.

In a corner of her room peeking out from behind a pile of higher-level science books, marked as ''read'' by yellow sticky notes, was an oblong, black object resting against the wall. It caught Kotomi's eye as she momentarily glanced up from a text on German literature. It was strange that she hadn't noticed it before, although there was a familiarity to it. She hesitated for a moment before setting the book aside and walking over to the wall. She angled her arm around the stack careful not to knock it over and grabbed onto the object, noting its textured feel on her fingertips. Miscalculating its weight and size, Kotomi stumbled back as she attempted to lift it one-handed causing the entirety of the object to sweep through the stack, sending everything crashing to the floor with a loud thud. She let out a soft groan as she fell to her knees to reorganize the mess that would usually be stocking the shelves of a university library.

Footsteps hurried through the adjacent hall as the house caretaker, Ms. Sato, searched for the source of the noise, alarmed concerning Kotomi's health. Wasting no time she slid the door open and rushed inside, nearly tripping over some of the books, being faced with a collapsed girl lying on the floor.

''Ms. Ichinose!'' she paused for a moment to survey the scene, relieved to see the girl was conscious and moving. ''Are you alright?'' the expression of worry still lingering on her aged features.

''Oh, I'm fine… I just made a clumsy mistake is all, I'm cleaning up though.'' A tone of embarrassment was present in her voice, though she still kept her innocent and lovable features.

''Ms. Ichinose, let me help you, those look heavy and you really shouldn't stress your body'' she said as she stepped over a tousled heap of texts over to where Kotomi was kneeling.

''Oh no please, it's alright, you don't have to help me… it's my mess and I should clean it up'' she waved her hands out in front of her frantically, avoiding eye contact with the woman out of awkwardness.

''Ms. Ichinose.'' Ms. Sato, placed her hand firmly on the girl's shoulder causing her to inadvertently shiver. ''There are problems that we must each face on our own, though others that we should be able to handle together.'' She gazed at the girl intently, cupping Kotomi's cheek with her right hand as she slowly lifted her eyes up to meet her own.

''I know you don't like to be a bother, but you have to let me do my job when it involves you too, alright?''

Kotomi remained silent as she examined Ms. Sato's face; it was sincere as always. She was the closest thing she had to a mother now although she made it a habit of hiding her feelings from her.

''But it's not even that big of a mess. I can fix it with no trouble at all, honest!'' she cried to no avail.

''If you don't let anyone help you, even just once in a while with something that may seem as minuscule as this, you'll have to tackle the big problems by yourself as well.'' Ms. Sato said as she began stacking books onto the small piles that Kotomi had already created.

Kotomi quickly realized that it would be useless to try to argue with Ms. Sato as she was always firm in her word. With a defeated look on her face, Kotomi began stacking books alongside her caretaker, glancing at the black object which revealed itself to be a case after the books around it had been removed.

''See, that wasn't so bad now was it?'' Ms. Sato said with a smirk as she patted Kotomi's back.

Without warning, the purple pig-tailed wallflower lunged herself at the woman, shocking her with an embrace.

''Please, if it isn't too much trouble, could you call me Kotomi-chan?'' she said in a soft voice looking up at Ms. Sato.

The graying woman looked down at her expressionless master for a moment before bursting out into a light-hearted laughter, returning the girl's embrace.

''Of course, whatever you'd like Kotomi-chan, whatever you'd like.''

The two remained there for what seemed like an eternity, giving young Kotomi as sense of warmth which she had not felt for so very long. She basked in this feeling, for once she did not feel quite so alone. However, it proved to be short-lived like all else she'd encountered.

''Well Kotomi-chan, I'll be taking my leave for the night. There is a leftover snack downstairs in case you get hungry. I'll be back in the morning to prepare your breakfast, okay?''

The look of disappointment on the girl's face jabbed at Ms. Sato's heart, causing her lips to curl into a slight frown as well. At the same time, it was also refreshing in a way. Kotomi had never opened up to her much before; could she be getting comfortable with her?

''Wait… I want you to teach me how to cook tomorrow… if you want to I mean.'' She was alarmed she had made her words too direct.

''I've read some culinary books and I always wanted to learn how to make my favorite foods. Mother wasn't able to teach me before the accident…'' A feeling of shame washed over her once again, she'd always taken everything her mother did for her for granted.

''Of course my dear Kotomi-chan! We'll cook your favorite breakfast tomorrow, I promise,'' said Ms. Sato as she embraced the young girl once more.

Promise… The word terrified Kotomi after the events of her birthday, which she had spent alone, and the promise her parents had broken. She realized now that it was indeed a special case and that she should put her trust in this newly formed relationship with Ms. Sato, who currently was the only light in her darkness.

''Do you really mean it? It's okay if you don't have time to… I understand,'' she said in a low, almost inaudible voice.

''Don't be silly now Kotomi-chan; when I say something I mean it. It's best if you understand that now.'' Ms. Sato rose to her feet, giving Kotomi reassurance with her trademark thumbs-up gesture and quirky smile.

''I promise I won't get in the way! I'll pay attention and get it right without wasting anything! I'll show you what I can do!'' Kotomi's face lit up jumping to her feet and putting her fists up in excitement. She was determined to master the art of cooking as she had calculus.

''Now, cooking requires patience; don't be upset if you don't get something perfect right away. It's all a part of the learning process.''

''I'll do my very best then!'' Kotomi's eyes continued to gleam.

''I know you will Kotomi-Chan. I'll see you in the morning then, goodnight!'' And with that Ms. Sato made her way out of the room, sliding the door behind her.

Kotomi listened as her footsteps became more distant and faint, anxious for her return in a matter of a few dumb hours.

She looked around at her room, now noticeably tidier. The case a foot away from her was now free of all obstruction—she'd almost forgotten about it. She sat down beside it, memories flooding her mind of what lay inside. Slowly, as if not to disturb what was inside, she flicked up each metal clasp of the case almost mechanically from left to right. As she lifted and pushed the top cover back, she recognized the purple faux-fur lining the inside of the case. Inside was her old violin, untouched for a few years. It was beautiful; Kotomi had always loved the instrument and the relaxation it brought her when she used to play it.

She caressed the smooth surface of the instrument with her hand before pulling it out of the case along with its bow. She'd forgotten how to play anything, but she still knew how to hold it. As she raised the violin up to her cheek, the memory of meeting the strange boy in her backyard crossed her mind.

''Tomoya-chan…'' she whispered, her eyes beginning to well up with tears because of yet another loss.

With the aching memories bubbling to the surface again, she struck a long blood-curdling note. It shrieked what she felt, yet to her it was beautiful. Kotomi did not hear what might have permanently damaged any other human's hearing; she heard what she was imagining. It was her song, unique from everyone and everything else in the universe. It was out of tune with reality, but it was her song and she would play it.

-II-

The sun rose slower than usual, not even showing its usual shine and instead spreading a gloomy and dusk light across the face of the earth. Memories from the day before still replayed themselves in her mind, each time with a different outcome, a picture if you will, of what could have happened. The bond that had been created only the day before was so simple and innocent, yet so beautiful in the eyes of Kotomi Ichinose.

"Ms. Sato," mumbled the barely awake girl while analyzing the neighborhood from her conveniently-located window beside her bed. The view allowed her to take in all the beauty that this world had to offer, even the invisible notes of music going through every single being. It was something that had been described to her by her very own parents, yet she somehow felt that her understanding of the world was indeed very different from the ones of her beloved mother and father. Music was in everything—music was everything. Yes, that had to be the way it worked, each individual situation being played out in song as it would on the grand stages spread across the globe. Though keeping this in mind, how could a sound as beautiful as the heavenly tones of a harp turn into all the sorrow that still excited? Hours would pass by with almost no movement from the scrawny Kotomi while she searched her inner debts for answers, or even the slightest of hints to her dilemma; yet today something very different was on her mind. The delayed arrival of Ms. Sato would always bug her like a itching in a place that she would be unable to reach, though her doubt would usually be silenced by a comforting text or something similar from the maid, usually describing a reason for the delayed arrival; however, today was different with no text received.

With lazy steps Kotomi slowly moved her feet across the wooden floor, meanwhile passing the stacks of books from the day before, which had been so gracefully sorted due to her own clumsiness. The reminiscing brought a slight smile to her face as the emotions that had filled her body in that specific moment started to resurface. A sudden tone of music brought her out of her almost dream-like state. As young Kotomi moved her gaze to the smartphone located in her palm, a sudden urge to close her eyes hit her. The reason for this was unknown, even to her, yet somehow she felt the need to shield herself for whatever catastrophe headed her way. As she ran her fingers gently over the glass surface, she could only gasp when she reached her digital destination.

"Dear Ichinose Kotomi

We regret to inform you of the death of your previous maid Ms. Sato, but we assure you that a new one will be put in place as soon as possible. Please do not worry over legal matters as this has all been taken care of.

We sincerely hope that this does not cause too much instability in your daily life…"

From that point the rest of the text just blurred out into misplaced dots of pure darkness, just as the rest of the world did before her very own eyes. It was as if every single physical object that she so desperately tried to cling to just moved further and further away as she neared them, resulting in her body breaking down on the floor in pure helplessness. Every single fiber in her body ached as had she been through immense torture and hardship, yet the one place which felt the most pain was definitely her heart, which to her died inch by inch with each second passing by. The mere thought of the way they had described her dear Ms. Sato in that text were like a thousand daggers stabbing her violently; it was a feeling which she had felt before. "M-Mommy," cried the vulnerable Kotomi while trying to raise her vague figure off of the floor, yet to no help. Her hands were shaking to the point where it was difficult to even place them in a suitable position for them to support her full weight, and on top of that her tears kept hammering down her face, hitting the floor like the never ending rain.

A black fire seemed to arise at the corner of her eyes, the flames being neither reality nor a picture from her own imagination. The flames danced like ballerina's in the empty air, spitting out a symphonized tone that greatly underlined the seriousness of the situation. "T-The music," she mumbled, trying to reach into this world which was so close yet light years away. Her hands were quickly engulfed by this unrealistic fire, but to her surprise she did not feel the touch of pain; instead she watched with awe as the darkness continued to snake its way around her body. The other world that had been described to her so many years ago suddenly felt so close, it was at the point where she could almost take a dive into this undiscovered universe.

Kotomo wanted to stay like this forever, to stay as a part of the music that continually controlled this world, yet something told her that she should instead stay and make her own interpretation of the music that should shape the future. Within a mere second, the young girl found herself back at her window with no texts on her phone and no heartache filling her body. She energetically lifted her body and grabbed the dusty violin at her side and with that she began to shape the course of the hidden reality.

_**A/N: Please inform us if you would like to see another Clannad story from the TDS team! We hope that you enjoyed our little take on the life of Kotomi Ichinose**_


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